and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
