Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
