Screwed.edu
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
