The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
