Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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