If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Couch. On fire.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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