I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
