IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
