So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
