We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
