Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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