and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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