No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
