weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
