What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
