I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
