My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
