I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
