I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
