meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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