I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
