Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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