She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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