Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
