I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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