This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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