I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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