my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
