Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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