She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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