I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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