i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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