It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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