mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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