my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
