using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
