Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
