Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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