is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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