is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
