woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
