i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
