we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
