Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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