The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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