Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
