im drinking this country out of the recession.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
