break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
