Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
