so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
