Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
