Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
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