I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
two words...techno handjob
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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