I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize