Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
