That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
